stress.music.video.by.justice.is.lame.

nobody@vox.com(.tiff) — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:20:53 -0700

Dear Xavier,

I'm sure you've neglected to notice that it has been a long time since I've publicly fawned over you. One could say that you and Justice were my summer romance of 2007, lingering long into the autumn months but eventually falling flat as winter came and went. I might as well admit that the raining sweat of scenesters and raver kids from your MySpace concert more or less washed any remaining sentiments of affection.

Nevertheless, I felt the need to write this note to you since recently you've been acting up the part of the obnoxious ex-boyfriend, what with your irrational and non-explanatory motions of whoring yourself out while trying to maintain that cool, composed, aura of a skinny jeaned deity. This is heavily pronounced by your newly released music video for the track Stress, which has caused much astir within the French community (as revealed to me by one hungry frenchman) and Justice fans alike. For context, I've provided the video below:

Stress - Justice

To start, I'll plain admit that Stress is my least favorite track on †, but I still have a lot of questions. How do you feel after watching that video, Xavier? Do you feel dignified that your video encapsulates a set of Justice flavored miscreants that truly define the 'edgier', converse-wearing, side of electronica? I'm sure their acts of chaotic, nonsensical chic-violence will truly define the real fans from the lesser strata of MySpace buffoons in a heart beat, while simultaneously convincing the confused parties to go ahead and purchase the conveniently 'Now for Sale!' Justice leather jacket with matching jeans.

All a matter of opinion, of course, but here are two tips that I think you should focus on:

1. Stop making shitty music videos for the sake of hype. (Your last two were fantastic, so find another way to express yourself cathartically)

2. Start making music. (Touring is no excuse. You need a new album. Pronto.)

I was going to include a third tip that involved you halting your habits of making out with cute french hipster ladies instead of me, but I've grown beyond such lofty dreams. I'll give you some points for clever employment of your group's name to the extent that you have crowds of fans chanting 'Justice! Justice!' during your concert, but if modern calls for 'Justice' elicit rather blazé acts of unmotivated violence, please count me out. For the sake of comparison, see Nima Nourizadeh's video for Jamie T.'s song Salvador Version 2(go here and click on the thumbnail under Music Videos with the skull-faced children in front of the fire) So, until that next album...

Bon voyage!
<3 .tiff

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late.night.prattle.

nobody@vox.com(.tiff) — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 23:30:40 -0800

Pure Moods, Vol. I

Various Artists

Dear Best Friend,
Thank you for giving me Pure Moods as a birthday gift today, 20 minutes ago. I have wanted this since I was in 6th grade. It couldn't have arrived at a better time (oh, and thanks Onionania for 'paying for it'? or at least playing guitar hero with me, that was great too).

Questions and concerns:
    1. Dear East Coast: why does it get so dark around 4:00 in the afternoon? It's really unfair.
    2. Dear Academics: why do you have to assign 10 page research papers? It's really a stressful assignment.
    3. Dear Coffee & Ramen Noodles: can you help me write these last four pages before I go insane? kthx!

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