your.unicorn.is.cheating.on.you.

nobody@vox.com(.tiff) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:23:28 -0800

The love life of this .tiff has been up and down the past few months to say the least. In a flurry of romantic frustration I jokingly admitted to my friend Dre that I would no longer be dating anyone from the human species ever again. Alternatively, I would choose to find my respective beaus in the largely diverse populace of mythical creatures: the likes of elusive Sirens, brawny Centaurs, and bashful Minotaurs. This works out ideally in a variety of ways but is a most successful goal as mythical creatures don't exist, thus freeing my personal torment from all relationship related drama. Furthermore, I choose not to engage with the likes of the Second Life crowd which automatically prevents me from acting inappropriately about said decision.

Dre thought this concept was rather hilarious, and being the dastardly clever friend he is, sent me the following list titled "Signs your unicorn is cheating on you". The following is an excerpt from the book Mountain Man Dance Moves: The McSweeney's Book of Lists which also includes helpful lists such as "Things This City Was Built On, Besides Rock 'n' Roll", "Future Winners of the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest", and the helpful "Adjectives Rarely Used by Wine Tasters". The list was too good to not repost it here, and I am a wiser soul after reading it as I am about to embark on my magical love life of sorts:

Signs your unicorn is cheating on you
CHRISTOPHER MONKS, National Post Published: Friday, January 19, 2007
- Seems emotionally distant and uninterested
- Wears fancier tail ribbons
- Starts working out at the gym
- Quickly closes its laptop when you walk into its enchanted den
- Credit card bill full of charges to area elf lodges
- The "three Cs": confrontation, criticismand complaints
- Every time you say the word "magic," it sighs forlornly
- Is making a movie with Angelina Jolie

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my.father's.dragon.

nobody@vox.com(.tiff) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 10:00:48 -0800

Book: Show us a book you've read more than once.

My Father's Dragon

Ruth Stiles Gannett

There is a point in every child's life where they have reached the full capacity of re-reading their picture books and are looking for the next level up. The 'chapter' book is a huge milestone in reading, or at least it was for me, and the very first chapter series I can remember reading is the My Father's Dragon series. With colorfully illustrated covers used as a visual launchpad to set a child's imagination on fire, I eagerly went through these books several times even though they were a bit more 'advanced' than what I was used to.

A friend of mine recently looked back on them and was surprised to find that the books were a lot more simple than she initially remembered. Simple or not, I highly recommend this series for the young ones. As mikepop and I have been discussing the books are vividly descriptive and fun, mikepop even pointing out that it reminded him "of an early-generation text adventure in that he filled his backpack with an odd assortment of things (chewing gum, lollipops, rubber bands, boots, compass, toothbrush, compass, six magnifying glasses, hair ribbons, and so on), then used each of those items in turn (none left over!) to solve puzzles in the story".

And who doesn't want to follow a young boy who eats fig newtons and tangerines on his fantastic adventure into the jungle?

EDIT: mikepop posted this lovely illustration from My Father's Dragon, to give you all an idea of what sort of lovely scenes took place in this book:

alligator bridge

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