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Dear Xavier,
I'm sure you've neglected to notice that it has been a long time since I've publicly fawned over you. One could say that you and Justice were my summer romance of 2007, lingering long into the autumn months but eventually falling flat as winter came and went. I might as well admit that the raining sweat of scenesters and raver kids from your MySpace concert more or less washed any remaining sentiments of affection.
Nevertheless, I felt the need to write this note to you since recently you've been acting up the part of the obnoxious ex-boyfriend, what with your irrational and non-explanatory motions of whoring yourself out while trying to maintain that cool, composed, aura of a skinny jeaned deity. This is heavily pronounced by your newly released music video for the track Stress, which has caused much astir within the French community (as revealed to me by one hungry frenchman) and Justice fans alike. For context, I've provided the video below:
To start, I'll plain admit that Stress is my least favorite track on †, but I still have a lot of questions. How do you feel after watching that video, Xavier? Do you feel dignified that your video encapsulates a set of Justice flavored miscreants that truly define the 'edgier', converse-wearing, side of electronica? I'm sure their acts of chaotic, nonsensical chic-violence will truly define the real fans from the lesser strata of MySpace buffoons in a heart beat, while simultaneously convincing the confused parties to go ahead and purchase the conveniently 'Now for Sale!' Justice leather jacket with matching jeans.
All a matter of opinion, of course, but here are two tips that I think you should focus on:
1. Stop making shitty music videos for the sake of hype. (Your last two were fantastic, so find another way to express yourself cathartically)
2. Start making music. (Touring is no excuse. You need a new album. Pronto.)
I was going to include a third tip that involved you halting your habits of making out with cute french hipster ladies instead of me, but I've grown beyond such lofty dreams. I'll give you some points for clever employment of your group's name to the extent that you have crowds of fans chanting 'Justice! Justice!' during your concert, but if modern calls for 'Justice' elicit rather blazé acts of unmotivated violence, please count me out. For the sake of comparison, see Nima Nourizadeh's video for Jamie T.'s song Salvador Version 2(go here and click on the thumbnail under Music Videos with the skull-faced children in front of the fire) So, until that next album...
Bon voyage!
<3 .tiff
Since first meeting Dan and off-handedly insulting his Castle Crasher figurines for including what I thought was a pizzacutter (which actually turned out to be a mace), we have become pretty close friends. This is demonstrated by the fact that we're top friends (on Myspace, of COURSE), but also from the one time we were chilling in the Hyatt hotel lobby during GDC and a drunk passerby asked if we were married. Hence the title: Top Friends with Marriage (we are not actually married, silly).
Dan means a lot more to me than MySpace or fake marriages, however, and a few months ago when he and the rest of The Behemoth team were up here for GDC and Wondercon, we hung out a lot and drew pictures together, one of which is displayed above. To commemorate our long-distant, convention-fueled friendship, I decided to turn this drawing into the following plush duo:
Show us a picture of the pet you'd most like to have in your life.
I don't have enough time for a puppy, nor should I plan on getting one since the spontaneity of my early twenties may lead me to move around some. But man. I want a French Bulldog so badly. I'd name it Chippy. Or Dogmeat. Or Spudge. *whimper*
There's no doubt that the twitterverse has a lot of fluff and stuff out there. While I tend to follow only the tweets from those who I know personally, as Twitter gains popularity it's hard not to occasionally stumble randomly on someone's inane tweet that elicits a *palm to forehead* kind of wonder of what the web is really made of.
This evening an intriguing screen shot of a new social experiment twitter site called twistori popped up in Laughing Squid's flickr stream. The shot itself convinced me that twistori was a site worth taking a look at, and what was to follow was a surprisingly beautiful and fascinating assemblage of social media.
For a moment, the web had a mind and a very personal presence for me which I haven't felt in a long time. Aaron added to this elation by pointing me towards We Feel Fine, and now I can only wish there were more moments like this in the noise and clutter of the web these days.
Expect to see a Colin's Bear Animation tribute by yours truly in the upcoming future. I'm thinking this is exactly what the bear hat was made for all along.
I demand to know!
The Destructoid community wins again.
There are two podcasts that Destructoid records weekly: Retroforce Go! (Retro Gaming News) and Podtoid (Gaming News and Criticisms, the one I am on). Be forewarned that both are as explicit (not necessarily from yours truly, but some pretty crass stuff is said) as they are intelligent, informative, and entertaining should you care to listen.
Retroforce Go! has managed to convince their fans to write game-related haikus, allotting many a chuckle-worthy 17-syllable poetic moments. Half joking, Anthony suggested that podtoid fans write Shakespearian sonnets to one up the Retroforce crew. Not joking, community member Brilliam wrote the following sonnet (along with other poems dedicated to the various members of Podtoid) for me.
Many harts for Mr. Brilliam! You made my evening!
DOT THE TIFFS BUT NEVER CROSS THEM
I found an image file the other day,
Dot-tiff, the file extension that it bore.
I smiled a bit, as I thought of the way
It always seems she really knows the score.
I'm jealous, I am saddened to admit,
Of how she gets to write on gaming's joys.
I'm also quite impressed by all the shit
She seems to put up with the podtoid boys.
And then she wrote that article on chicks
And how they're represented in this scene.
Despite most of the comments made by dicks
She highlighted a trend that's turned obscene.
Soft-spoken, but a font of poignant words,
She's like the El'nor Roosevelt of nerds.
Getting tagged by Rockin' Sake Robot to do an 8 random facts list felt a little like ye olde days of e-mail chain lettering. I was tempted to resist participating at first, but after mulling over it for a bit I decided that it was an interesting challenge to think of little tidbits of my life that I wouldn't otherwise talk about. Looking over the list, I could probably write a post about each of these... maybe I will!
THE RULEZ
THE FACTZ
1 I spent a month in Shanghai teaching after-school English class to 5-7 year olds the summer after my junior year in high school. I don't speak Mandarin but I had a co-teacher who would translate for me when necessary.
2 I am related to Aaron Burr, that asshole who killed Alexander Hamilton.
3 I used to do synchronized swimming when I was in elementary school. My most memorable performance was a routine I choreographed with two of my friends to "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" from the Lion King
4 I was a box blonde for 7 years. I went back to natural brown a few days before I graduated college.
5 I got the lead roll in the high school play three years in a row (Anne Sullivan in The Miracle Worker, Judith Bliss in Hay Fever, and Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing). At the time I had oriented my life towards becoming an actress on Broadway. Things have changed considerably since.
6 I have abnormally small pinkies, which according to palmistry means I'm "someone who is frustrated, and unable to express my talent and skills". I don't necessarily agree with that.
7 I drink my coffee black. When I was younger my parents would give me spoonfuls of their coffee for taste. I started drinking coffee before I headed off to school in 6th grade, and now I drink way way too much. Contrary to the belief that it stunts your growth, I've always been above average height at 5'8''-ish.
8 I won an HP math award in 8th grade and won a fancy calculator as a prize. This success was my dad's main driving point when trying to convince me that I should apply to an electronic engineering school for college, failing to realize that I had never been interested in engineering to begin with.
THE TAGGED
I'm going to tag muppet, Captain Manta, Kimmie, Papi Chulo, Crap Artist, and Pata Pete, should you choose to accept it.